Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dlisted:Michelle Rodriguez On Why Nicole Kidman Won't Win An Oscar For Pissing On Zac Efron

When I first read that in Lee Daniels' newest cinematic mess The PaperboyNicole Kidman squats a piss out on Zac Efron's chest after he gets stung by a jellyfish, I said that the Academy needs to engrave "Nicole Kidman's Piss Stream" on a statue right now. Because that golden shower deserves the gold! Well, crazy ass Michelle Rodriguez saw The Paperboyat Cannes and she disagrees with my ass. MRod told Vulture that Nicole isn't going to win an Oscar for taking a #1 on Zac's lip gloss-covered nipples, because she's not black.
"I fucking loved it. One of my friends said, 'She’s going to get nominated for an Oscar for that.' I was like, 'Nah, man. She’s not black!' I laugh, but it’s also very sad. It makes me want to cry. But I really believe. You have to be trashy and black to get nominated. You can’t just be trashy."
The hell? Nicole Kidman won an Oscar and it wasn't for playing a character that wasn't black or trashy. Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer were both nominated this year and their characters weren't trashy. I think MRod is saying that in Lee Daniels' PreciousMo'Nique played trash and won an Oscar for it. So if you want to be nominated for an Oscar for acting in a Lee Daniels movie, you better hope your character is black and trashy. I don't know! Reading a quote from Michelle Rodriguez is like trying to have a conversation with a heat-stricken surfer on peyote while you're high on meth. I'm not on the right kind of drug to fully understand what that crazy bitch is saying.Что еще почитать
And now I have the image of Mo'Nique pissing on Zac Efron. Oh, MRod, the things you do to my brain.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Dlisted:Presenting Mrs. & Mrs. ROJO CALIENTE!!!

Presenting Mrs. & Mrs. ROJO CALIENTE!!!

Duchess Kate and Prince William's tiny little vow exchange in that small church has been knocked down to the second most important royal wedding of this century now that Rojo Caliente and her ginger queen are married! Even though I haven't even seen one picture from the ceremony and they could've gotten married in the break room of a Subaru dealership for all I know, I can still say this it was the most beautiful and greatest wedding of all-time! I was going to pour a little ginger beer in my morning coffee anyway, but now I have a real reason to do so. Cynthia Nixon's rep tells People that after being engaged for 3 years, she can now say the words millions of people wish they could say, Rojo Caliente is her lawfully wedded wife!
"On May 27, 2012, Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni, were legally married in the state of New York. Nixon wore a custom dress by Carolina Herrera."
Cynthia's rep says "On May 27, 2012 Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend, Rojo Caliente, were legally married" but I say, "On May 27, 2012 the sanctity of marriage got a ginger breath of life!!!!!!"
This is the reason why the sun shines on all of us in NYC today. Not because there's no clouds or anything. But because the humanized form of one its rays, Rojo Caliente, married the woman she loves. Congingerlations to our new reigning ginger gayelle queens and my favorite couple next to vodka and soda. This news calls for a soundtrack!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Celebrity Babies:Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels: Adoption Is a Calling

Andrew Macpherson
Jillian Michaels knows what it takes to get results in the gym. But she had no idea what was in store for her when she began the arduous task of trying to adopt a child two years ago.
The former Biggest Loser trainer — who brought2-year-old daughter Lukensia home from Haiti just days after partner Heidi Rhoades delivered son Phoenix on May 3 — says despite feeling “despondent” at times throughout the process, she had hope that things would work out.
Michaels initially applied for adoption in 2010through the Democratic Republic of the Congo. After waiting more than a year for a referral, the trainer learned that some of her paperwork was about to expire. If Michaels wanted to continue with the process, she would have to reapply.

It was then that she learned Haiti had children up for adoption.
“Adoption is a calling,” Michaels, 38, tells PEOPLE. “There is something in you that can’t be denied. You just know in the deepest part of your being that you are meant to find this little soul and guide them through life.”
As a teenager Michaels was diagnosed with endometriosis, a medical condition where tissue that normally grows inside the uterine walls instead grows outside the uterus. It often affects fertility but, she says, “at that time in my life, I didn’t even think I would want kids as an adult.”
It wasn’t until she was in her mid-30s that she “felt the calling to adopt. The adoption processwas not a simple or easy one,” she explains. “There were moments where I was starting to think it was not going to work out.”
But Michaels says the wait was all worth it.
“That moment of getting Lu out of Haiti and the wheels of the plane touching down in New York … she was an American citizen after two years,” Michaels recalls, tears welling in her eyes. “It was a heavy moment.”
For details on Michaels’s new life as a mom and to see more images from our exclusive family photo shoot, pick up the June 4 issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Prince William: I Couldn't Sleep Before My Wedding!

Prince William: I Couldn't Sleep Before My Wedding!
It's hard out there for a Prince!
Prince William's wedding was one of the largest events world events of the last decade.
So, it's not hard to imagine that Will revealed he felt lots of pressure on his big day — especially because he, and his bride Kate Middleton, had a heavy hand in the wedding planning.
The Prince recalls the moment he decided take control of his big day:
"There was very much a subdued moment when I was handed a list with 777 names on it — not one person I knew or Catherine knew. I went to [Queen Elizabeth] and said, 'Listen, I've got this list, not one person I know — what do I do?' And she went, 'Get rid of it. Start from your friends and then we'll add those we need to in due course. It's your day.'"
Aww!! Grannies are just the BEST!
Prince got his dream guest list — but that didn't stop some uninvited guests from keeping him up all night! Willy revealed:
"[The crowds] were singing and cheering all night long, so the excitement of that, the nervousness of me and everyone singing — I slept for about half an hour."
Oh, the poor boy!
Up all night the day before his wedding, AND he probably didn't get any sleep the night of his wedding!! ;)
[Image via Ramey Pix.]

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Pink is the new blog:Quit While You're Way Behind

Quit While You're Way Behind

Hulk Hogan, in an attempt to seem repentant and explanatory, paid a little visit to the Larry King Live show last night in order to discuss matters dealing with his son Nick Hogan's incarceration (for almost killing his friend John Graziano) and all the bullshizz that has come to light since. The highlight from the interview for me was the point where Hulk was explaining that it is his belief that John Graziano is now in a permanent vegetative state (which resulted from the car accident where Nick was driving) as a part of "God's will" to makeJohn "a better person":

Hulk Hogan broke his silence on his son's imprisonment and his wife's new relationship on Larry King Seriously, the Hogans should just keep their mouths quiet at this point ... they only make things worse every time they talk. Today,Hogan is now apologizing and explaining what he really meant by his "God's w
See, I think that "the public" sees his family for what they are ... completely out of touch with reality. What planet are these people from? He is shocked that his son is suffering in jail? WILL SOMEONE TELL HIM THAT IS WHAT JAIL IS FOR? Can someone get a piece of paper and a crayon and draw a photo illustrating that JAIL IS PUNISHMENT? How does he not understand that YOU LOSE ALL PRIVACY WHEN YOU GO TO JAIL because INMATES ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR THEIR CRIMES. It's not a vacation, jails aren't there to cater to your comforts. Nick Hogan doesn't even know the meaning of real jailhouse punishment. And beyond that, even the worse jailhouse punishment might be preferable to existing in a permanent vegetative state. I can't even convey my disgust with this whole thing. It just keeps getting grosser and grosser. [Source,Source]

In other Hulk Hogan news, folks are now being warned that the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill may kill you ... or burn your house down. Wanna stay alive, use a George Forman Grill instead.

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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Go Fug Yourself

Well, from the neck up Freida Pinto is as gorgeous as ever.

From the neck down, I’m less sure. I love the shoes. And the bag. And the fouffiness of the skirt (“fouffiness” being a technical fashion term). It makes me want to twirl around. But I kind of wish the under-dress were black, too, because something about the beige reminds me of Spanx. And Spanx reminds me of being unable to breathe. And then I start to hyperventilate and I want to lie down.
What do you think? Tell me while I look for my inhaler.

Friday, May 18, 2012

10 Things You May Have Missed In TV This Week

10 Things You May Have Missed In TV This Week

10 Things You May Have Missed In TV This Week
In this week's TV roundup, SNL celebrates a milestone, Jane Lynch does Maddow, Chris Rock has a point and Smash gets a Marilyn.

1.) Derek makes the wrong choice on Smash.
Derek picked Karen over Ivy to play Marilyn? Wha? What? Huh?

2.) Community leaves the dark timeline behind.
This season of Community was A.) great and B.) very dark! And it almost got darker with Evil Abed nearly cutting off Jeff's arm, Pierce and Shirley in conflict and Troy surrendering his life to the elite and secretive air conditioning repair school. Luckily, the Greendale Seven managed to pull it together just in time for the season finale.

3.) Ellen and Steve Carell play charades.
This is a dream game night.

4.) Chris Rock talks gay marriage with Graham Norton.
"This shows you how screwed up the world is, though. That a man just goes, 'Hey, I think that gay people should be treated like everyone else.' CONTROVERSY!"


5.) Baby genius has to poop.

6.) Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton guest star on Glee.

P.S. New Directions wins Nationals.

7.) Speaking of Glee, Jane Lynch killed it on Rachel Maddow.
Who's the hostess with the mostest? I think we're lookin' at her!

8.) Taylor Kitsch explains how he got the role of Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights.
Why does it make me so excited that he still lives in Austin?

9.) You should have smang'd it when you had the chance, Jon Snow.
You in trouble now.

10.) The Lonely Island celebrates their 100th SNL Digital Short.
Well done, boys. Well done.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Egotastic:Holly Henderson Topless Lingerie Shoot Ought to Help Clear Up Her Reputation

She's shagging Premiere League soccer stars, she's starring in skanktastic reality shows about sugar babies who use men for money, and, now, apparently, she's receiving nasty death threats through Twitter (which, for the record, kind of mean you've arrived to an extent). But, through it all, Britty bombshell Holly Henderson has managed to maintain her good cheer, her firm resolve, and, her dignity, but she has lost all of her clothes for the cameras, natch.
How better to fight catcalls of personal turpitude than by stripping down to your silky underthings, and even less, and flashing your buttery hooters for all the world to see, at least, all the world on Egotastic! to see. Holly Henderson has a plan. Ignore the trash, and provide more flash, and if that means we get to see the platinum hottie all kinds of topless, we have to say, we highly agree with this strategy. Enjoy.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

WWTDD:MCA of the Beastie Boys has died

Adam Yauch, better known as MCA of the Beastie Boys, died today of cancer. He was 47. AOL says…
Fours years ago on July 20, 2009, Yauch announced he had been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his parotid gland, located in the mouth.
In August 2009, he underwent surgery to remove the tumor in his glands.
Earlier this year, reports that the veteran rhymer were cancer-free surfaced, however, Yauch dismissed the news via his publicist. “I’m continuing treatment, staying optimistic and hoping to be cancer free in the near future,” he said.
I put up ‘So Watcha Want’ because ‘Check Your Head’ was the album where they first played all their own instruments, and it was so totally different from everything else that it pretty much changed everything, and expanded the scope of what hip-hop could be. And also because they’re such good dancers.

GawkerR.I.P. Nathanial Hornblower: MCA’s Hilarious Response to a Bad New York Times Review:

R.I.P. Nathanial Hornblower: MCA's Hilarious Response to a Bad New York Times Review' Stephanie Zacharek negatively reviewed the video forthe Beastie Boys' new single "Ch-Check It Out." MCA a.k.a. Adam Yauch, who died today at the age of 47, had directed the video under his pseudonym Nathanial Hornblower. He didn't take kindly to Zacharek's review, and let her know in a letter to the Times demanding, among other things, that she send him a goat.
His letter:
One Goat, on Account
To the Editor:
I had the great pleasure of reading your unsolicited critique of the "Ch-Check It Out" music video ["Licensed to Stand Still" by Stephanie Zacharek, May 16]. It took some time to get to me, as it had to be curried (sp?) on goatback through the fjords of my homeland, the Oppenzell. And in the process the goat died, and then I had to give the mailman one of my goats, so remember, you owe me a goat.
Anyway, that video is big time good. Pauline Kael is spinning over in her grave. My film technique is clearly too advanced for your small way of looking at it. Someday you will be yelling out to the streets below your windows: "He is the chancellor of all the big ones! I love his genius! I am the most his close personal friend!"
You journalists are ever lying. I remember people like you laughing at me at the university, and now they are all eating off of my feet. You make this same unkind laughter at the Jerry Lewis for his Das Verruckte Professor and now look, he is respected as a French-clown. And you so-call New York Times smarties are giving love to the U2 because they are dressing as the Amish and singing songs about America? (Must I dress as the Leprechaun to sing songs about Ireland so that you will love me? You know the point I make here is true!)
In concluding, "Ch-Check It Out" is the always best music film and you will be realizing this too far passing. As ever I now wrap my dead goat carcass in the soiled New York Times - and you are not forgetting to buy me a replacement! Please send that one more goat to me now!
The writer, whose real name is Adam Yauch, is a member of the Beastie Boys. He directs their music videos under the pseudonym Nathanial Hornblower.
Yauch, besides being a pretty funny guy, was a film buff. His film distribution company Oscilloscope Laboratories, which he founded in 2002, released last year's We Need to Talk About Kevin, the Oscar-nominated Banksy documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop, Kelly Reichardt'sMeek's Cutoff and Wendy and Lucy, as well as dozens of other foreign, independent, out-of-print and documentary movies. Criterion asked him to select ten films from their collection; here are the results. ("Sometimes I get free DVDs from Criterion, but not always. I wanted to get one of each, you know, like the whole collection, but they said, 'No, Adam, we don't do that.'")
Zacharek admits that she still owes him a goat, but, to her credit, is not shouting out "He is the chancellor of all the big ones! I love his genius! I am the most his close personal friend!"
[NYT via @KateAurthurimage of Yauch at Bard ca. 1982 via @JonahWeiner]