Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Here’s How to Condescend to 900 Job Applicants With a 3,000-Word Rejection Letter

Here's How to Condescend to 900 Job Applicants With a 3,000-Word Rejection LetterWe were forwarded this rejection email, apparently sent to more than 900 hopeful applicants in one bulk delivery, by a reader who shall remain anonymous. (The person is, after all, still looking for a job).
"I don't find it helpful," the rejected applicant wrote. "I just find it arrogant."
"At first I thought I'd made it to the second round," the reader said on the phone this evening, "but then I realized I'd been Bcc'd, along with 900 others, on my own rejection letter."
Here it is, in all its bullet-point glory:
————— Forwarded message —————
From: Shea Gunther
Date: Mon, Mar 26, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Subject: You applied for a position at my clean tech news site
Hello,
If you're reading this, it means that you applied for one of the positions open at my new clean tech news site (this ad-> http://louisville.craigslist.org/wri/2894902027.html). I'm Shea and it's been my job to do the first read-through of the 900+ applications that have poured in as a result of our ad.
I have gone through each of the applications as they have come in and picked out the best 50 or so to be passed into the second round of consideration. Some of you are amazing candidates that I am really excited to learn more about. Those of you who are passed into the second round of consideration will be hearing from us soon, if you haven't been contacted by us already.
Others applications have come in from strong writers who just aren't a great fit for what we are trying to do. When you have a pool of 900+ applications, you can be picky, and we passed over many worthy people simply because they don't have enough experience in clean technology and green media. I would advise anyone without enough of the right experience who wants to break into environmental writing to start a personal blog and write about the things you want to get paid to cover. You are welcome to get back in touch with us in the future after you've built a more focused portfolio.
Beyond those two groups, there were applications that were skipped over after just a quick read—the brutal truth is that the very worst applications got less than a few seconds of consideration. Often I could tell from the first few words of an application that it would be passed over. I was helped by the fact that we are hiring writers; if a person can't craft a good email applying for a writing job, she's unlikely to be the kind of writer we are looking to hire.
As I went through your applications, I couldn't help but jot down ideas on how some of you could improve your job hunting email skills. As evidenced by the response to our ad, there are a lot of people out there looking for work right now and you need every advantage that you can get if you want to beat them to a good job. If your application email sucks, you are going to be left looking for work for a long time because you will get flushed out with the first filter every time you apply for a job. Some of your applications are that bad.
I have broken my suggestions down into a list of 42 writing job application dos and don'ts.
Good luck.
• Do be a badass.
I actually hired one of the 900+ applicants within minutes of reading his application. He writes for a popular site that I'm a huge fan of and is a terrifically talented writer. After I first read his email, I looked up his writing and found a lot of articles that I have enjoyed over the years. I replied back asking if he'd like to work for us. Later that day, his friend and colleague applied and was similarly insta-hired. These two guys are dream hires for us (don't tell them that though, don't want them to get cocky around the virtual office) and it was easy to pull the trigger and bring them on board quickly.
A lot of those applicants who passed into the second round have experience writing for outlets like the New York Times, the Huffington Post, the Washington Post, CNN, MNN, and Mashable. When I saw a portfolio link from sites like that, I quickly added the writer to the second round list and moved on to the next new application. A prominent portfolio link won't get you hired by us, but it will earn you a closer consideration.
• Do read the ad and do exactly what it asks.
Here's the section of our ad that describes how to apply:
Рассказы с юмором

LINDSAY LOHAN Everyone's On Board To End Formal Probation

0326_lindsay_lohan_district_attorney_ex
Lindsay Lohan is in the clear ... if she doesn't screw up in the next 48 hours, she will be off formal probation for the first time in more than 4 years ... TMZ has learned.

Sources tell us ... The L.A. County District Attorney is satisfied Lindsay completed the terms of her probation.  As a result, the D.A. will accept the L.A. County Probation Department's report that Lindsay has complied with all the terms of her probation. We've learned the D.A. will have no objection to Judge Stephanie Sautnerterminating Lindsay's probation in the Beverly Hills DUI case.

As for Lindsay's other little problem -- the jewelry heist -- we've learned the L.A. City Attorney sees no reason why Lindsay's formal probation -- requiring her to regularly report to her probation officer and the judge -- will be changed to informal probation, meaning as long as Lindsay keeps her nose clean she is off the hook for misdemeanor theft.

Lindsay is in court Thursday, and we'll be livestreaming.  She will walk out with virtually no strings attached to her freedom.  Well, there is one string.  To get off informal probation, she must obey all laws for the next 2 1/2 years. 

Chace Crawford Spills On Liz Hurley!

Crawford Hurley
Chace Crawford knows a woman when he sees one, apparently… and on Gossip Girl, he sees them every day — so what sets Liz Hurleyapart?
Well, Liz joined the current season of the hit show as Diana Payne, and had a brief TV relationship with Crawford's Nate Archibald.
So he has spent some time with her. And this is what he has to say:
"She's the most charming - I mean she's still as gorgeous as ever. She keeps it light and she's funny - she's kind of the epitome, do you know what I mean, of the ideal woman."
The epitome!
He continued:
"I love the voice. On the show she's trying to tell me all these things and I'm trying not to crack a smile because she's so charming."
Awww, well. We know a few ladies who would say YOU'RE the epitome of a guy!
Such sweet things to say! We wonder if she'll read them, and what she'll think!
Maybe she'll make it super hilariously awkward for him on set!
LOLz!
[Images via WENN.]