| What Would Tyler Durden Do|
Celeb Gossip, rumors, scandals,pictures and videos
рекомендовать друзьям >>
- Nicole Richie Gets Candid, You Get Educated
If you’re like me, then you too have been wondering how the hell you can get a little more Nicole Richie in your life. Our wait is over, my friend. #CandidlyNicole is here. The web show based on the uproarious Nicole Richie Twitter feed. It was only a matter of time before social medial content was adapted for use in something really really close to social media. And Nicole has shit to say. Important shit. Like in the premiere episode where she visits Dr. Kirby, the tattoo removal specialist to talk about eliminating her tramp stamp.
Nicole: I think the main one I want to get rid of is across, going down the crack.…Do they come off, come off? Or do they come off white?
Nurse: This one will come off, come off….Done. It's black ink against your lighter skin tone.
Nicole: I mean I'm light skinned for a black person, which I am. But like in the regular world, I'm actually olive skinned….
Dr. Kirby: What's going on? You have some tattoos that you're concerned about?
Nicole: I have a tramp stamp. I was 16 and an idiot and didn't want my parents to see. You know? … I'm not that girl.
Dr. Kirby: Can I see?
Nicole: Here is my tramp stamp … it’s a cross, a butt crack cross …
Dr. Kirby: Do they [your kids] ask you about the tattoos?
Nicole: I mean their dad has a ton of tattoos and I'm fine with it. I just don't like mine…
Shazam! It’s all right there. In addition to learning Nicole’s reticence about her tramp stamp, early on in the premiere episode when Nicole takes off her oversized sunglasses we learn that she’s not nearly as attractive as we thought.
- Don't Go Gay Until You Call Lance
Jason Collins is the latest celebrity to call upon the gay wisdom of Lance Bass before coming out to the public. If you’re even thinking about switching teams, don’t make a move until you talk to Lance. Got cock on the mind — start dialing Lance right now! He’s come out, you know. He knows what it’s like. He has solid advice for you like, you can now tell Joey Fatone you didn’t really finger bang his little sister in the back of the bus, and, when Justin calls to lend his support, remind him that you were supposed to be doing this together. Also, Lance can get you on Kathy Griffin’s coffee klatch short list and a coming out speech punched up by Bruce Vilanch. Call now.
- Who Wouldn't Want Tremendous Amounts of Sex? (VIDEO)
This only confirms my forever suspicion that hockey players get more tail than any other people on the planet. Local sports reporter Susannah Collins was probably flustered from having sex with three Blackhawks players just before her on-air word slip. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. But sometimes that cigar is your dick and you’re lighting it up nightly. If you’re a hockey player. This kind of shit never happens to bloggers. Life continues to be unfair.
- Beyonce Dabs with Red Toilet Paper
Beyonce is going on a world tour. Apparently, there are teenaged girls and gay men in places outside the U.S.. But she’s not going without a list of demands, as evidenced in her tour contract rider, that little addendum that provides all of the artists customized requests:
- titanium straws to drink alkaline water kept at precisely 21-degrees
- all crew to wear 100% cotton only clothing
- plain off-white walls in her dressing rooms
- a new toilet seat at every event
- red toilet paper
- hand-carved ice-ball to suck after every performance
- glass platters of almonds, oatcakes and green-only crudités
Honestly, that doesn’t sound all that much more choosy than most prescription medicated Westside L.A. moms in their daily fanatical doings. But that red toilet paper. That’s a real mystery. I did a little digging. It turns out the red butt 2-plys have no significant difference from your standard whites. It’s just a style choice. A choice to wipe your ass with red. Are we to read into a deeper meaning here? Is Beyonce a communist? Is this the team color of the college she didn’t go to? Or, is it possible, just in some way, somehow, slightly possible that Beyonce is a needy self-absorbed crazy bitch? Yeah, I know, probably a communist.
- Ground Turkey Is Full Of Shit
A Consumer Reports study of ground turkey found that over half of it is contaminated with shit. Like, poop shit. 90% of the meat also contained salmonella, Staphylococcus aureus, E. coli, enterococcus bacteria. Yum. This only applies to ground turkey and not the whole bird you stuff your fat face with at Thanksgiving. And, hold on to your whiteboy dreads organic hipster loser, because organic turkey also has the same amount of shit and bacteria. So you’re going to be bent over your low flow toilet without the comfort provided by growth hormone derived man-tits. Of course, the real problem is people eating fucking ground turkey in the first place. Real Americans eat burgers made from beef like God intended. If you’re going to eat a turkey burger then you might as well eat a veggie burger in which case you might as well just start sucking cock and calling yourself Darlene. That last exaggeration is for emphasis. Stop eating fucking turkey burgers.
- Miley Cyrus Is All Grown Up
You can’t stop the kids from growing up. It seems like just yesterday I was lying about never masturbating while watching Hannah Montana. And, now, little Hannah is all grown up into a mature semi-spastic girl in leather. I need a little time to digest this. I might have to go back to the Hannah Montana tapes for a little to wean. Then move slowly, but quite decidedly, into these V magazine titty-grabbing photos. A man needs a masturbation plan. A man without one is just fapping in the wind.
- Nicole Trunfio Is See-Through
I’m guessing when a girl goes out without a bra on, she gives herself a last check in the mirror to see how her tits look and if anything’s showing that shouldn’t be. I’m guessing this happens about 100% of the time. So when fashion model Nicole Trunfio shows up a a promotional event in a see-through dress and no bra, I’m going to say she knew her nipples were going to be showing off to the cameras. I think she knew it and I think she loved it. But, I also think she knew I’d be watching. So most of this delusion is really just about me.
- Ken Jeong Photobombs Kate Upton's Photo Shoot (VIDEO)
Kate Upton is an insanely gorgeous supermodel with awesome tits, she also apparently has an awesome sense of humor, and let Ken Jeong (Leslie Chow from the Hangover) follow her around videotaping himself photobombing her GQ photoshoot a couple years back. Sadly the video doesn’t feature a completely naked Upton, but it does show a small hairless Asian man using a pool noodle as a penis, and that’s something we can all rally around.
- The Pornographic Diary Of Anne Frank
Anne Frank makes everybody stupid. including Gail Horalek, some uptight PTA bitch in Michigan who decided that Anne’s diary is too pornographic for her precious little snow flake. You’ll recall from being half asleep in high school English class that Anne Frank was a Jewish teenage girl whose family hid from the Nazis in an attic for several years. She was later captured and died in a concentration camp. What you didn’t know was that you were reading the edited for kids version of the diary and that a far racier version existed.
Like any teenage girl, Anne writes about her crush on a boy and other shit girls usually write in their diaries, at least from the ones I used to steal and read because I was a curious and lonely lad. The passages in the unedited version that Horalek objects to are a couple of paragraphs about Anne “discovering” her lady bits. It’s pretty clinical, actually. She just kind of goes, “Oh, there are two labia lips.” Scandalous! Horalek wants this classic tale of the triumph of hope over despair banned because Anne looked at her body in a mirror? As the world’s most annoying mom states, ‘Words are pictures in the mind’. Ooh, Gail, you are on top of things for a 17th century Puritan.
Here’s a motherly task you can perform now that you’ve been on television humiliating your own daughter in front of all of her friends and schoolmates. Go check her browser history and search records. Look specifically for things related to ‘BBC’ and ‘I hate my mother’ and ‘revenge’.
- Jennifer Aniston Bested by Angelina Once More
Jennifer Aniston has a million things she wants to tell you about how to stay good looking into your middle years. It mostly involves holistic medicines, Asian aromatherapies, and never letting that bitch cunt Angelina Jolie ruin your wedding day. Oh, only she did. It’s amazing how one crazy ass anorexic can be the bane of your existence, I mean, unless you’re married to her yourself, but Angelina continues to haunt Jen’s desperate attempts at ever being loved again. Aww.
Jennifer has put her wedding plans to that guy with the beard on complete hold now that Angelina and Brad have suddenly announced their own wedding plans after eight years and six Benetton kids. I don’t get girl feuds, but I know they exist. I know they’re ugly. And I know Angelina is still winning.
Here’s Jennifer at a book signing showing off her cleavage. Angelina quickly fired off an email to Jen asking her if she knows what Brad likes to do to her tits when he’s randy.
управление подпиской: http://www.rss2email.ru/manage.asp
партнерская программа: http://partner.rss2email.ru/?pid=1